happy friday, friends! it’s school vacation week here in massachusetts and we made it through. when my kids have a large chunk off of school, i always feel like i’m on a rollercoaster: excitement for uninterrupted time together, overwhelm at how much time is left and how many activities have already been done, and sadness when it’s suddenly over. motherhood, right?
my oldest was sick, so our ski plans shifted, but we still hit a lot of great local activities. a few people asked, “emma, we still have the weekend — anything you’d recommend?” yep. also, i always look at this site to know what’s available for kids activities each day, and most areas in massachusetts have them!
disney on ice was so much fun and really had all the characters. it’s running at td garden through the weekend.
the aquarium wasn’t that crazy when we went on wednesday, which felt like a small miracle. and the rides on the greenway nearby are free for the week.
sloomoo was really fun and you can get timed tickets. fair warning: they will come home with slime. proceed with caution.
ice castles are always such a hit, and the timed entry makes it feel manageable.
i didn’t get to a meaty substack this week. and after thinking about it more than i’d like to admit, i decided to let it go. sick kids who were home anyway. a disrupted routine. a week that asked for flexibility instead of discipline.
no one cares but me,and maybe that’s the point. the pressure isn’t coming from outside. it’s coming from the version of myself who wants to do everything all the time. but this week was full.
when i was leaving this morning, my daughter asked me why i always have to leave them. the untherapized version of me wanted to say, i am with you all the time. i stopped working so i could be with you.
but instead, thanks to therapy and practice and knowing what actually matters, i said, let’s snuggle and chat. i told her about what i’d be working on for a few hours today. how someday, maybe, we’ll walk into a bookstore together and see my book on the shelf. how no, i don’t have a boss anymore. no, i don’t have to go write. but i get to. i want to.
and that’s the part that’s harder than i expected. when it’s a choice, it’s easier to question. easier to postpone. easier to say never mind.
but i remind myself: i am with them all the time. their mommy cups are full. this isn’t a permanent feeling. this is how she feels right now, in this moment, watching me walk out the door.
and i am allowed to be someone who leaves sometimes — not to escape them, but to become myself fully, and to show them what that looks like.
🎧 what i’ve been listening to
monica padman on conversations with cam, i am a huge fan of both of these podcasts so it was so cool to see them come together and get the behind the scenes of monica’s life that we don’t always get on armchair.
lily allen, no shame. i know her new album is getting a lot of buzz, rightly so, and also from me. but this one remains my fave. speaking of, i have a ticket for her show in boston that i need to sell. anyone want it?
i want a good nonfiction for audible, any recs?
🔗 quick links i’ve loved
🍽 favorite meal of the week
what: tbh most meals i ate this week were scraps off of my kids plates. survival is okay!
where / recipe: my kids favorite food is “seaweed sandwiches” which is…as it sounds like. two pieces of seaweed with rice inbetween. i try to plan ahead and make the rice in bone broth for protein (aka make myself feel better). my daughter will accept left over protein or veg in hers.
🛒 sales +links i’m eyeing
steve madden is great for spring?!
these flats! under $100 in the color
love these red jellies
ruti sale
i have been seeing these pants everywhere on stylish ladies for months, so when they reached out to send me some pants i YELPED. i wore these twice already this week. probably would have worn more but then i sat in glue in them so had to wash them. they are pricey but dare i say the perfect mom/travel pants? i might snag in the brown.
lake sale
🤍 favorite moment of motherhood
driving up to new hampshire after my son and i had to stay behind because he was sick, he sighed as we entered the town and said, “mmm, so good to be back.” it’s surreal watching family traditions and places solidify into memories for them in real time.
👗 what i wore
outfit reel: here ya go!
standout piece: are you sick of the bandana cashmere scarf yet? me neither. (everything else here)
✍️ best moment of writing this week
since i’ve taken a long(ish!!!) break from my current project, my mind has started drifting toward ideas for whatever comes next. at our old house, when we’d pull in on a summer night, the sound of frogs — and the visual of so many of them jumping across the street — keeps coming back to me. i think one of my characters will live in that house, and that moment will be a scene that signifies coming home. is this interesting?
☕️ coffee shop haunt of the week
where: mountain thrift and coffee
order: nh maple latte
vibe: love this place and wish we had one close by! mix of people working and families
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THIIIIIIIIS: "how no, i don’t have a boss anymore. no, i don’t have to go write. but i get to. i want to. and that’s the part that’s harder than i expected. when it’s a choice, it’s easier to question. easier to postpone. easier to say never mind."
I'm pretty sure I said this exact thing to my therapist this week 🥲
Coming home scene is VERY interesting. It might be a Feb struggle, but I can see (and smell) that lush green drive.